December172013

my heart is soaring

so many wonderful things have happened

im going to the conservatoire

he kissed me

5PM
December92013

one of these days I hope to be breathtaking

to enter a room and have all eyes on me

stunningly beautiful and charismatic

December82013

no no no no

why

why did a friend I trust have to go and be clingy on the boy I like. I need him to tell me how he feels because we have been skirting around it for months

but why did you do that. why.

i’m so hopelessly upset.

November52013

i’m confused

and I don’t know. I don’t know so much.

and i’m tired of being lectured and told i’m better and that i’m too smart to not know

i’m sorry that every time I say something it’s misconstrued because I didn’t articulate it like I meant

i’m scared at how much I’ve stopped caring

and  i’m  scared what happens after

what’s next and why

I didn’t expect to live this long

you know kids challenge each other on the play ground “i’m going to live to 100” “i’m going to live to 1000”

I always expected life to end

every year older I was more and more

scared

waiting

I was never good at looking to the future

2PM

the joke is that instead of crying like I so desperately need to

I started counting off the ways I could kill myself

one

at

a

time

October302013

why am I so sad

I had a great couple weeks

and then BAM my mood completely did a 180 and now I feel like crying

out of disappointment?

I have no idea.

I don’t even know if I like him anymore and what do I do

is it because I am sad

or because I never really liked him to begin with

and then there’s the fact I didn’t get cast in the student production I wanted to be in

and

and

and

I want it to be Friday so I can figure this out.

October282013

just kiss me

October222013

(Source: nicco-bee)

4AM

organically?

jeez that’s some funny advice coming from you.