I just really want this

and I need to know

I just need to kinda bite the bullet and ask

but jesus im so scared


Thursday p and I accidentally walked to class together

Friday was all kinds of absurd

L and me filming a scene where we were cuddling in bed?

P and I filming a scene that was completely platonic and got turned in to flirty by the directors?

us actually kind of flirting?


evidently I look beautiful on camera?

"the camera loves you" a thing that was actually said in real life to me


n winking at me?

the AD blowing me a kiss?

what on earth


erg so much happened today.


p saying he had to show me something.

delivering my monologue to p who jumped up to be my sight line

m and our tutor saying that even though they don’t like love speeches they liked mine

"searing moments"


l saying I nearly made him cry

tutors praising me over lunch and telling me to continue with it

p saying he would love to do my scene with me

everyone saying what a shame it is for me not to be staying for 3rd year

sunday sunday sunday


that moment when you know you’re either about to get what you want

or get hurt


When I was little I wanted to be a princess.
That’s not a viable option, so a movie star is close enough.


My Day:


actual praise about my work hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah

"i’ll fight you."

"that’ll just turn me on love, that’s like foreplay."

hits him

"do it harder and say my name"

P teasing me for literally the entire afternoon

L teasing me then his girlfriend trying to get in on it. not as funny.




it gets to a point where I just want someone

someone to eat Chinese food with

someone to tease me

someone to play with my hair

and let me sit in their lap

someone who will listen to me

someone to kiss me and put their hands on my waist

someone I can hug whenever I want

and will pick up the phone

someone to fall asleep with


boys with their sleeves rolled up

blue gingham and blue eyes

messy hair

crooked smiles